So I have been trying my best to stay positive and happy about my life. I really have an incredible life and nothing to be sad about. And yet there is this big black cloud over head that makes me sad. A little post partum depression. Not enough to go to the Dr. and get meds, but enough that a few days/weeks out of the month I am weepy, grumpy, impatient, sad, for silly reasons. Lack of sleep has something to do with it. Chubby baby isn't the best night sleeper. He still nurses at night and is up at least 3 times or more needing a binky. Plus the older kids come in with nightmares, sickness, etc. Some nights I am lucky to get 5 hours-and then it's broken up sleep. Last night I got a solid 3 hour stretch and I felt like a champ.
Anyways, pity party for me...but I want to keep it real for my children and remember the true life of a young mother.
Yesterday I left in a grumpy mood to ward park day, and came home refreshed and rejuivinated. The sun on my skin, talking with sweet ward friends, watching the boys play and have fun instead of being at my feet clamouring for Emmett's attention. I am grateful that the Lord gives us so much....sunshine, laughter, good friends, the church organization, healthly children. I know that I will come out of my funk and start taking better care of myself and be a better mom to my children.
I had the kids this weekend while Doug was at a scout campout. At breakfast I told the girls that if we got our Saturday chores done we could go to the park. I was doing the dishes and didn't know where the girls were...I found them cleaning the basement without even asking. What sweeties.
After the park I loaded the kids in the car. I annoucned to my children, "Okay 1,2, 3, 4, 5..all 5 kids are here we can go." Oliva said, "No Mom we have 6 kids in the car...your'e a kid" I told her Nope! I am an adult and a Mommy...her answer.."Well you are Heavenly Father's kid aren't you?" I love her perspective on things. She is sweet and caring. You are right Oliva....I am God's Daughter...what a sweet reminder.
Mitters is teething and LOVES kissing and chewing...precious baby....
Doug took the kids camping with some friends overnight for Presidents Day...They love getting dirty, fishing and camping with their dad...
Here were are giving Emmett his first feeding of rice cereal...all the kids were very excited! As you can tell...dying to be next to the baby...poor buddy...hope he survives.
Audree taking a picture
Not quite sure....he loves it now...
Makes me claustrophobic just looking at this...
We had a lovely valentines day as a family. Fancy candlelight dinner and school celebrations. It's a fun holiday for us to celebrate with the kiddos.
5 comments:
PPD is hard and seriously lame! When everything seems like it should be so joyous, there is that darkness. What's helped me is taking the best care of me. You know, eating the best I can, exercising even with crazy sleep deprivation, and asking for help. I have maternity leave for one more month, so call me so we can have a play date.
I just want you to know that I truly know how you feel. My PPD was so bad I had to be medicated. I am so thankful that time is over and it will end soon for you too. I love that you are aware that happy people can help you out just by being around them. Keep good people around you and all will be good. I am here if you need anything!
You are such a sweet mom Leah. Your kids are so lucky to have a mother who is always trying and striving. Aaron always reminds me that sleep deprivation is used as a torture device in military operations. Ha, ha. Meaning...it can mess you up mentally, emotionally and physically. Hang in there.
Leah, I need your email address because I want to respond in length to this. Jourdanboynton(at)yahoo
Leah!! This is jamie (Preston & Trisha's sister). You have such an incredibly beautiful family! It's no wonder considering you are their mama. Two months ago I had daughter número tres and every.single.day I wonder if she will survive her bigger sisters. They love her a little too much sometimes. :). Anyway, great to "see" you again!!
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